Which lens is best to have on hand?
The one at home.
Which camera is best?
The model step up from the one you just bought
The model step up from the one you just bought
When will the right camera for you be available?
Probably next year.
Probably next year.
When will it be affordable?
When it is obsolete.
When it is obsolete.
What camera do ‘fools’ buy?
Yours.
Yours.
Should you shoot RAW?
No! Shoot jpeg and get it right the first time you fucking moron.
No! Shoot jpeg and get it right the first time you fucking moron.
What must you improve?
Your work flow.
Your work flow.
Where does no one want to be?
In front of a computer.
In front of a computer.
Where does everyone want to be?
Out shooting.
Out shooting.
How much light is there?
Not enough.
Not enough.
What must the light be?
Natural.
Natural.
What must the colour balance be?
Neutral.
Neutral.
What must the subject matter be?
Interesting.
Interesting.
What do adjustments make your photograph?
More interesting.
More interesting.
What must the background be?
Blown out.
Blown out.
What mustn’t the highlights be?
Blown out.
Blown out.
What must the shadows be?
Punchy.
Punchy.
What must the flash be?
Diffuse.
Diffuse.
What else?
Soft.
Soft.
Like this?
No.
No.
Now?
No.
No.
Now?
Just turn it off.
Just turn it off.
What is catechism?
Just fucking google it..
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